Log in

No account? Create an account
03 January 2011 @ 12:57 am
Here goes:

Reflection and AnticipationCollapse )
Current Mood: satisfiedsatisfied
22 June 2010 @ 11:24 pm
And I realize that I kind of miss this. I do love my own personal journal, because it is  one of the the few safe places for complete honesty, but this is like a way to throw away thoughts that don't necessarily need to be personal or meaningful. Here I can be stupid and playful, I can pretend or I can tell the truth, I can fabricate or accessorize what is actually going on around me, which is a lot.

Since my last post, I have become a different person for several reasons. I have matured immeasurably and changed my opinions on several things. I let myself be the person I want to be, no matter how it caused people to judge me. I have started to like many different kinds of music/bands, and I know there is a cliche quote about college and music taste, but it is true to an extent, and I am glad. I have become more free flying, the way I only imagined I was in high school.

I started and ended an interestingly shallow, short lasting, and eye opening relationship with a guy who I hope I can get to eventually realize than he was ridiculously lucky that I ever even gave him the time of day, and continued to do so for any period of time.  I now am in a serious relationship, the kind that no person that has ever known me would believe me capable of. One that I am happy to say my roomies/suitemates approve of, unlike my previous relationship.

I have been adventuring in Jersey for a week, explored New York city, gotten through my first year of college, made a ridiculous amount of close and not so close friends all over the map, and at the same time tried to hold on to and repair a few relationships that I neglected back at home.

The summer sucks. Like nobody's fucking business. I hate being at home. I hate having to work. I hate being held responsible for things that I should not be held responsible for. I enjoy tanning. I usually enjoy spending time with my best friend who I hardly ever get to see. I enjoyed the time I got with my roomie. I enjoy shopping with money I shouldn't be spending. I love spending time with my boyfriend, who lives two hours away and who's work schedule clashes terribly with mine.

I should not bitch. I have an easy fucking life. But it sucks being stuck away in my home town, away from the people I care about, with nothing to do but yell at the sky as I soak up the Indiana sun. I need inspiration and ambition in my everyday life, and those are things that do not exist without extreme coaxing in this boring suburban town. I want summer to be over. I never thought I would ever think that way, but I cannot wait for summer to end and the school year to start back up again. I want to go home.

Current Mood: discontentdiscontent
09 February 2010 @ 10:01 pm
I could be writing a paper right now. I could be rereading the book that I have to write a paper about right now so that I am not just making things up about a book I read several weeks ago. I could be being productive. But nope. I am sitting here looking up funny shit on youtube with LA X in the background. Waiting for Lost to start.
Ok, ep 2 here we go.
Not going to manage to be as organized, but I think I will be more complete and better at giving my first impression, not my jumbled re-piecing together. Which I now realize totally sucked as far as remembering goes.
And writing is much better than typing, as it allows me to snack, so that will be it for my type-out. Peace, Lost, here I come.
Current Location: dorm
Current Mood: thoughtfulthoughtful
03 February 2010 @ 10:46 pm
Every once and awhile, I get thinking. About everything. All at once.
Current Location: dorm
Current Mood: draineddrained
02 February 2010 @ 11:34 pm
So let me try to think this out.

Here goes.. Collapse )

Oh my.

I think that is everything important and I have no idea where this leaves us. I do not think I will be able to pay attention in classes tomorrow at all, and will not be able to breathe even kind of easily until I can at least watch this ep again on hulu to make sure I haven't missed any perhaps important bits of dialogue while I was processing the loads of info and trying to get the universes straight.
Current Location: my dorm room
Current Mood: pensivepensive
02 February 2010 @ 04:10 pm
And that thing is the season premiere of LOST!!!!!!!!
I don't even want to start thinking about what is going to happen until the premiere is over because there are so many places that the first episode could go. If time is all messed up and everything didn't happen, which can't happen, because it just /can't/, I don't know where they are going to go. But everyone also can't just be dead. So what happened when Juliet blew up (or didn't blow up) that friggin bomb?
That is all for now because I just want to know what is going on a little bit before I start from nowhere and try and figure out how it will all end.
02 February 2010 @ 03:43 pm
Just found this year in review thing and had to do it..
So here it goes...Collapse ) -jk
Current Mood: thoughtfulthoughtful
30 January 2010 @ 02:24 am
Got Alice on my mind.
Just did a nice photoshoot, one of the few that I have ever done of still life, pre-set in a, well.. set. Haha, so anyways, doing this for an Composition project that is way crazy and I am probably taking too seriously, but that is kind of what I do. Right? Anyways, doing this makes me really want to take pictures again, be artistic on a daily basis, which recently I have been shoving in between the rest of my life, randomly scrapbooking/journaling making bracelets that are bound to mysteriously disappear.. coloring in margins when I should be paying attention in class. Those kinds of things.
Wow this is really stream of conciseness besides the fact that I can't spell when I'm not writing academic papers for some weird reason, as soon as formality is turned off, so are half of my grammar skills.. like wtf? right? ugh
Back to where I started I'm doing this crazy Composition project.. visual rhetoric/literary device/fantasy video thing. Super fab.
That is it for now, so glad FF has spellcheck cause otherwise this would /really/ look like shit.
Current Mood: curiouscurious
02 January 2010 @ 08:02 pm
Been lazing around all break, honestly can't wait to get back to class, back to my second home in W Laf. Haven't updated in ages, not like anyone comes around here anyways. I need a new hobby or something, I really do a lot of nothing when it is not necessary. Oh well.
Using Firefox and don't know why anyone doesn't, lol. Never thought I would say something like that on here, but there it is.
13 September 2009 @ 06:05 pm
Get me through this new disaster.
Where have I been these past years,
Holding together my life wrought with tears?

Looking at the faded ink,
Scraps of paper make me think,
How have I changed, how have I grown,
Have all my hearteaches really shown?

Loving truely, hugging fate,
But how long am I supposed to wait?
I've treid to stay so damn strong,
But my mind has led me wrong.

And now to translate all of this,
All the pain, all the bliss.
No more lies, no more walls,
Perpare for batltle, destiny calls.
Current Mood: pensivepensive